I was told.....1. Don't do any independent thinking.
2. Don't try to do your best.
3. Don't try to help others.
4. Don't care.
Can you believe it? I was appalled that I was told this, but it certainly didn't surprise me. This is the attitude by the whole organization I work for, but most certainly it is the attitude of the lab. What do I do? And then I was told I'm "fragile". I can say a big bullshit to that. If anything, I'm strong....too strong and that pisses off people. So be it. All of the bad things that have happened to me have just made me stronger. I just trust God for my final reward.
I had an appt with my PCP today. I only needed two prescriptions written. We talked awhile and then out of the blue, he asked me how my mood was. After what I heard this morning, I told him I was depressed, that I was diagnosed with PTSD. He wanted to know why and when I told him about the emotional abuse of my mother and the emotional and verbal abuse of my ex-husband, he gave me a hug. I was really moved by that and actually felt a little better. As I write this, though, I do have tears in my eyes. I'm just plain tired. I'm emotionally drained. And that certainly doesn't mean fragile. Although I shouldn't and I know I shouldn't, I will tell my boss that I AM NOT FRAGILE. I AM STRONG. That's it. That's all I'm saying and she can do whatever she wants with that.
Here is a pciture of the baby sweater I'm knitting. I'm close to being half done. I get very bored with stockinette stitch. But I got a beautiful yarn so I will post the sweater I knit when I'm done.
2. Don't try to do your best.
3. Don't try to help others.
4. Don't care.
Can you believe it? I was appalled that I was told this, but it certainly didn't surprise me. This is the attitude by the whole organization I work for, but most certainly it is the attitude of the lab. What do I do? And then I was told I'm "fragile". I can say a big bullshit to that. If anything, I'm strong....too strong and that pisses off people. So be it. All of the bad things that have happened to me have just made me stronger. I just trust God for my final reward.
I had an appt with my PCP today. I only needed two prescriptions written. We talked awhile and then out of the blue, he asked me how my mood was. After what I heard this morning, I told him I was depressed, that I was diagnosed with PTSD. He wanted to know why and when I told him about the emotional abuse of my mother and the emotional and verbal abuse of my ex-husband, he gave me a hug. I was really moved by that and actually felt a little better. As I write this, though, I do have tears in my eyes. I'm just plain tired. I'm emotionally drained. And that certainly doesn't mean fragile. Although I shouldn't and I know I shouldn't, I will tell my boss that I AM NOT FRAGILE. I AM STRONG. That's it. That's all I'm saying and she can do whatever she wants with that.
Here is a pciture of the baby sweater I'm knitting. I'm close to being half done. I get very bored with stockinette stitch. But I got a beautiful yarn so I will post the sweater I knit when I'm done.
Isn't this pretty?
No comments:
Post a Comment