Failure

I didn't have a happy childhood.  Nothing I did was ever good enough....even the time I got all As and one B on my report card.  I constantly heard from my mother - if you'd be more nice, you'd have more friends - if you quit eating so much, you'd lose weight - if you'd study more, you would get all As - if you keep your mouth closed, you'd be prettier - and on and on.  Then I got into a marriage of emotional and verbal abuse.  Whoa!  Thirty-two years of crap from the people that I thought loved me. By then I had no self-esteem left.  But after 4 years of college and graduating with a BS in Bacteriology and getting only As and Bs, I was beginning to feel better about myself.  I got a divorce and was a single, working mom of 2 teenage daughters who were my world.  I decided then that I was going to help make this world a better place and to help people have an easier life.  Well, I'm now 62 and I haven't made a mark at all in this world.  I've tried so hard that I've only made people dislike me.  People don't want an easier way to do their work.  They don't want to be friends no matter how much I give myself to them.  The people I work with pretend to be friends. No one cares about the work they do.  Well, I care.....but it was got me nowhere.  No more.  I will do the best I can do, try my hardest, be nice and let people be.  What else can I do?  It's hard to be slapped on the face day after day.  So, world, I give up.