I have this week off, but

I've been spending it at a drs appt and at the hospital for a procedure.  Since my last bowel obstruction 6 weeks ago, I've had a lot of nausea, when I can eat, I fill up fast and then have bloating and pain, and I'm losing weight.  Now that's totally bizarre for me.  I've only lost weight twice in my life.....once with Jenny Craig and once with Atkins.  I usually maintain and often gain.  So when the pounds kept coming off, I started getting worried.  I saw a dr who ordered blood work and CT scan which was normal.  Yesterday, I saw an gastroenterologist.  What a great doc! I've never had such a comprehensive history taken.  He even asked me if I still had my cat!  He wanted to do an EGD....let's see if I can spell that.....esophogastroduodenoscopy.....or something like up.  All it is is an scope down the throat.  I insisted that they make sure I don't wake up.....I've done that before and while interesting in that I was able to see my innards on a screen, I didn't want to do it again.  It was perfect.  All I know at this point is that the doc did several biopsies from every area.  Since I know my liver and pancreas are OK, it only leaves my esophagus, stomach and upper intestine to worry about.  I will call him next week for the results. My jeans are all falling off me.....just 6 weeks ago, I couldn't get into them.  It's amazing what 8-10# can make in a 5'2" person.....at least 2 pants sizes. 

Gotta toss in a picture....don't know what one yet.  We'll just see what comes up!

This is me in Maui....on a beach loaded with shells.  There is a cruise ship in the background and I'm holding the sock I designed for my friend, Kim.  It's been over a year.  You think I'd get it published by now.  I'm just too much of a procrastinator to finish.  What can I say? Oh yeah.....I weighed about 10# more in that picture than I do now. 

Amy Elizabeth Heitz

Amy was born June 11, 1969 and died June 16, 1989.  This week is always the toughest of the year.  Amy was my first born daughter.  I tried going back to work after her birth, but I couldn't do it.  I had to be there for all her "firsts".  I loved being a mother so much that when she was 6 months old, I got pregnant....on purpose.  Nine months later, I had 2 beautiful daughters.  Who knew one day that I'd lose one.  I know this time of year is hard.....but I don't realize how cranky, upset, emotional, pessimistic, and frustrated I really am until June 12th.  It's hard this time....I'm alone.  I was going to go to Idaho where Amy is buried in the family plot, but I don't think I can do it.  I just can't do it alone anymore.  The drive is long and boring and with my health, I'm afraid to drive that far.  Amy isn't there, anyway.  She's in heaven with my dad.  Oh, how he loved her.  I hope they are having a grand time.  My parents are buried to my left....also my grandparents.  In fact, a lot of my aunts and uncles, all my grandparents and some great-grandparents are buried in this cemetary in Payette, Idaho.

So, Amy, this is for you.  You were my love, my dreams, my future.....when you left, there was a hole in my heart.  It's still there....always.  I miss you, I miss your smile, I miss your independence, I miss your curiosity, I miss your attitude, i miss your sassiness, I miss your graduation from college, I miss your wedding, I miss your children and I miss a relationship with me.  I love you always.     Mom

Work is so stressful that

I almost walked out one day......a co-worker talked me down and I stayed.  I'm training a new employee (who I will call Newbie) who just doesn't get it.  A new employee is usually trained in about 2 months in every department (5).  Newbie can't even get trained in one dept in 3 months.  Everyone is frustrated, but I'm the one who has the most contact with Newbie.  No one wants to train Newbie at all in our STAT lab.  It requires organization, prioritization and multi-tasking.  Newbie has none of these qualities.  Boss is off on medical leave and I'm trapped!  Help me!

I've been losing weight and not trying.  I'm also nauseated, have a bit of abdominal pain and fill up too quickly when eating.  I went to the Dr on Wed and he ordered some blood tests and a CT scan of the abdomen which I have tomorrow.  He referred me to a specialist and when I tried to make an appt on Wed afternoon, they kept putting me off.  I still don't have an appt.  I've seen this dr before so I don't know what's going on.  But I'm having anxiety over all these symptoms.  I googled them and It can be nothing or cancer with a bad prognosis.  So you can see why I don't want to wait.


Another lovely picture from Maui.....this is me on the lanai of the condo while on Ravelry!