I do or decision I make is wrong. I thought I had talked myself out of that, but here I am again. I wanted to stay home this week-end and get things done around the house since I have 3 days off. I was going to put all my junk in the living away, etc. Friday started out great. I had energy and got the kitchen and bathroom cleaned, did laundry and changed my bed still feeling great. Sat AM I didn't get out of bed until 1:30. I woke up early enough, but just couldn't move. I finished the toe on my sock and did some sudoku puzzles. By the time I got up and showered, I was extremely exhausted and in pain. I literally sat on the couch the whole rest of the day. I hurt and even going upstairs caused my heart to pound and I had to gasp for air. I DID NOTHING ALL DAY! Do you know how much I hate that part of me? I wanted to control the fibro and now it's controlling me. I should have gone to Susan's and at least I could have sat there and be around the kids. I screwed up again. Even small decisions I make are wrong. This is why I hate making decisions. I want new curtains....afraid of getting the wrong size. I'm making a sweater....think I made the wrong decision on the yarn and I'm not enjoying working on it. And I have tons of little decisions that I make that aren't right. So why? I don't make a decision lightly. I think of all aspects before I do. I look at the positives and the negatives.....I still get it wrong. So because I can't decide what to do with all my stuff, it's all over the living room. (I just deleted a ranting....I don't want to do that.)
I need you, God, to help me with my decisions. I will pray more about them and listen to your voice. Hear my prayer, O Lord.
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