GBBGrandma

I said I would NEVER blog, but I have to have a place to vent. I vent too much to my friends and I don't want to ruin friendships. I don't care if this ever gets read by anyone. I suppose I could keep a Word file instead of this, but this feels more real.

I'm getting old, I feel like shit and I hate this. Don't get me wrong....I love my life. I have a wonderful daughter, a great son-in-law and 3 of the best grandchildren ever. I have a comparatively easy job and I make enough money for an occasionable splurge. But.....and the big but is this.......I have fibromyalgia. I live with 24 hour pain. Some days I'm relatively pain-free. For me.....pain-free means my pain level is at a 3 or so on a scale of 1-10. When it's bad, like today, it more like 6-7. The fatigue for me is worse than the pain. I hate it when I'm with GBB and I'm so tired I can't play with them. I want to be a fun grandma. I didn't have grandparents around. Both my grandfathers died before I was born. One of my grandma's was extremely old and the other one lived far away and was a witch. So it's very important for me to be there for my grandkids.