The Best News Ever

I slept until 1030 so I didn't make it to church. I was supposed to usher. I think I'm going to drop out because I'm either at Susan's or I'm sick. I should have gone to church last night. I didn't even shower or get out of my sweats today. I ordered out for pizza for the first time in years. Yesterday all I ate were 3 protein bars. That's not good, but I'm out of food. I suppose I'll go to the store after work tomorrow no matter how bad I feel.

Now.....for the thing I've been praying for for years.....and I mean years. Susan called me today and asked me to baptize her next time I visit.....in 2 weeks. I cried and cried and thanked and thanked God for answered prayer. That means we can all be together in heaven......my biggest dream. When she moved further away from me, I was a wreck. I didn't want her and the grandchildren that far away. So I prayed that God would provide a friend for her that would lead her to Christ. One of the first people she met was a pastor's wife. I couldn't plan that any better.......only God could. God is so good! For a long time in my Christian life, I didn't believe prayer really worked. But I have seen so much answered prayer not only in my life, but in the lives of my friends. I believe God can work anything for good and that makes life's crappy things easier to take. Heaven is for eternity and this life is but a blip on the screen of life. That gets me through the terrible pain times.....knowing this won't last.....that when I get to heaven I'll be pain-free and have energy. I can't wait! Thank you, Father, for my incredible life and for both my daughter's lives.

It's 2AM and I should be sleeping

It's 2AM and I can't sleep even with my night time meds. I can't focus long enough to knit so I've just been cruising around Ravelry looking at patterns and yarns. Had a 2 hour phone call with my BFF SW. She lives in San Diego and I'm hoping she comes to visit in a few weeks. I suppose I won't be going to church tomorrow. I'm really hurting and I know I will need to sleep in. I told myself from the time I was DX'd that I would not let the fibro be in charge of my life....that I will be in charge of it. After more than 20 years, I'm steadily worsening so it is beginning to tell me what to do.

I had a long talk today with granddaughter B on the phone. She's 3 and loves talking to me. I don't understand her very well so I ask a lot of questions. I'm getting better at deciphering her words.....or she's starting to talk plainer. Last year I spent about 6 weeks at my daughter's house after a major, emergency surgery and she still wants to see my owie now and then. The boys, G and B, are awesome. They are being homeschooled. Oregon public schools are among the worst in the nation. G needs help for his disability and the schools didn't do anything. B was bored to death in school because he was far ahead of his class. So my daughter, S, bravely made the decision to home school. Both boys are doing awesome. One other reason she is doing this is because the principal of the school was caught smoking pot in public and the school board didn't do a thing about it. In fact, quite a few people pulled their kids of out school. Not the role model I'd want for my kids.

I suppose I'd better try and sleep. I'll probably have to take more meds. I hate taking meds, but if I didn't I'd be in bed every day, all day. Not fun........

GBBGrandma

I said I would NEVER blog, but I have to have a place to vent. I vent too much to my friends and I don't want to ruin friendships. I don't care if this ever gets read by anyone. I suppose I could keep a Word file instead of this, but this feels more real.

I'm getting old, I feel like shit and I hate this. Don't get me wrong....I love my life. I have a wonderful daughter, a great son-in-law and 3 of the best grandchildren ever. I have a comparatively easy job and I make enough money for an occasionable splurge. But.....and the big but is this.......I have fibromyalgia. I live with 24 hour pain. Some days I'm relatively pain-free. For me.....pain-free means my pain level is at a 3 or so on a scale of 1-10. When it's bad, like today, it more like 6-7. The fatigue for me is worse than the pain. I hate it when I'm with GBB and I'm so tired I can't play with them. I want to be a fun grandma. I didn't have grandparents around. Both my grandfathers died before I was born. One of my grandma's was extremely old and the other one lived far away and was a witch. So it's very important for me to be there for my grandkids.